By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
How's work?
Spinning.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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