Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
