This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
