I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
