it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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