Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
