apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
