I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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