ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize