have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
