just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
