mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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