Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
