Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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