Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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