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I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize