She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
