her vagine was all disorganized.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize