what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
