Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
