listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
