I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
