You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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