walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
