Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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