She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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