not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
