can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
