He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
