I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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