you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
