I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Rumble strips road head = magical
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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