We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
