I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize