I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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