this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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