if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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