i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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