cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
