I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
