remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Alive.
So much puke
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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