If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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