Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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