pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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