did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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