i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
