i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
