I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So squirting runs in the family.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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