Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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