And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
