Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
