The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
