id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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