At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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