I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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