Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
