i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
